20 Comments
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il Pelagi's avatar

I agree, my luxury touch is the glass.

I like to drink my Tanqueary old recipe Martini -13€ 750ml- in a 200€ Saint Louis. Cheers!

Simon Main's avatar

I think I am getting glass envy - I’d best join the gang and find one?

Oscar Foulkes's avatar

I love this, thank you!

I couldn’t help thinking about this in relation to the deadlines you wrote about a few days ago. Have the deadlines passed, or was this piece a magnificent contribution to the body of work one may call Procrastination?

Tim Hayward's avatar

Dear God! I feel so seen!

Fripperies's avatar

Most of those prosaic everyday brands you describe as ‘rail (well) drinks’ are actually ‘call drinks’ in many American dive bars. You've confused them.

Danny Brody's avatar

Real Havana club from Cuba isn’t even available (technically) in the US. People drool over it

Felipe Franco's avatar

This is brilliant, thanks. Brazil’s been through a small batch, local botanicals, artisanal gin fad for a while now, and every bottle has a medal or two pasted over the labels. Yeah, cool, but the thing is, plain old $12 Gordon’s always blows them out of the water, because gin in a cocktail recipe usually means… gin. Shocking.

Danny Brody's avatar

Orange bitters will solve all of your martini problems

Josh Butler's avatar

Thought this was gonna be about train wine. But a fab read nonetheless

Oliver Rowe's avatar

Best Negroni I've had uses Beefeater 24, Campari and Antica Formula. The latter could, perhaps be described as kind of, almost artisan (ish), but it's also pretty readily available from a corner offie somewhere slightly off the beaten track. Definitely not, however, along a mountain ridge, through a gorge and up a forest path leading to a small stone hut.

Arthur's avatar

I approve this message - I’ve tried all sorts but I now make nearly all of my home martinis with Greyson’s gin (Aldi’s £12.99 knock off of Gordon’s) plus regular old NP. And I can make a damn good martini with those ingredients, plus an occasional dash of orange bitters. I do have an entire freezer drawer devoted to ice production which helps..

Fraser Jopp's avatar

Ditto Schweppes for tonic...

Leigh Stanford's avatar

We are planning a visit to Marseillan just to get the Noilly Prat Extra Dry!

Tim Hayward's avatar

Heading to France tomorrow for precisely that reason

Eoin's avatar

Tim, what am I doing wrong when it comes to martinis? I like wine, I like beer, I like cocktails. But I’ve had martinis and they just taste like …. I dunno, petrol?

What’s your recommended recipe? As I’m clearly making them wrong.

Tim Hayward's avatar

No. You’re not making them wrong. They’re supposed to taste like petrol.

I think we’re supposed to learn to like that.

For me, I think the key is coldness. I read a recipe somewhere that read...

As much gin as you need

Almost no vermouth

A metric tonne of ice

There's some technique to getting the whole arrangement down there... but for me at least, they start getting goos around -3ºc

Oliver Rowe's avatar

Does the alcohol let you get that cold?

舞原詩音 | Cross‑Cultural Writer's avatar

I enjoyed this very much. The idea that premium booze sometimes sells us the glamour of tasting like rail booze is both funny and uncomfortably accurate.

Also, “designed for Martinis” may be the most honest luxury positioning there is.

Dennis J Gerson's avatar

We live in DFW Texas. My wife prefers good old Smirnoff on the rocks with unsweetened Cranberry juice. When we go out for dinner, most of the servers push Tito’s with the well brand usually Absolute. She goes for the Absolute.